𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials…” — 1 Peter 1:6

This photo is one of my favorites.

Two nurses.

A father and a son.

Both called to care for people.

Both believing that our lives are meant to make a difference.

When this picture was taken, I never imagined I would one day be writing these words.

The loss of our son, Tonzy, has been the greatest trial our family has ever faced.

There are moments when the grief still feels overwhelming.

Moments when I long for one more conversation.

One more dinner together.

One more hug.

One more ordinary day.

If I had the choice, I would choose for my son to still be here.

I would choose for our family to be whole.

I would choose for none of this to have happened.

But that is not the path before me.

And so I am left with another choice.

What will I do with this trial?

Will I allow it to make me bitter?

Or will I allow God to make me better?

Will I allow it to harden my heart?

Or will I allow God to soften it toward those who are hurting?

Will I allow this pain to become the end of the story?

Or will I allow God to use it as part of His story?

As I have prayed, searched the Scriptures, and spent time with the Lord over these past weeks, I keep returning to a truth that appears throughout God’s Word:

God does not waste suffering.

He redeems it.

He transforms it.

He uses it.

Not because suffering is good.

But because He is.

And while I would never call the death of my son good, I can testify that I have already seen the goodness of God in the midst of it.

I have seen His comfort.

I have seen His mercy.

I have seen His grace.

I have seen His faithfulness.

I have seen Him draw me closer to Jesus.

Closer to His Word.

Closer to eternity.

Closer to people who are hurting.

Closer to the realization that many are silently carrying burdens they were never meant to carry alone.

As a father, this season has changed me.

As a nurse, it has changed me.

As a follower of Jesus, it has changed me.

And as one of the founders of SEEDE, it has given me a renewed sense of purpose.

Because one question continues to echo in my heart:

“What if another family is walking toward the same cliff and nobody sees it?”

That question has led to prayer.

Reflection.

Listening.

Learning.

And ultimately, action.

In the coming days, weeks, and months ahead, we will begin sharing more about a new chapter of our ministry journey through SEEDE LYF.

Not because we have all the answers.

Not because our grief is over.

But because we believe God can bring purpose from pain.

SEEDE LYF was born from a simple conviction:

That a seed buried in the darkness is not lost.

It is positioned for growth.

The foundation of this work will be built upon three convictions that have become deeply personal through this season of loss.

First, that every life still carries purpose—even when pain tries to convince us otherwise.

Second, that healing was never meant to happen in isolation, but through community, conversation, and Christ-centered support.

And third, that too many families are fighting invisible battles, which is why prevention, intervention, and standing in the gap for one another matters so much.

Through SEEDE LYF, we hope to help people move from silent survival into true fullness of life.

To help hurting individuals rediscover hope and purpose.

To equip churches, schools, families, and communities with practical tools for mental wellness, resilience, and suicide prevention.

And to train parents, guardians, mentors, and loved ones to recognize warning signs and courageously step into the gap before a crisis becomes a tragedy.

Because life is a gift to be fiercely protected.

Because love should be spoken before the quiet sets in.

Because memories should be preserved while we still have the opportunity.

And because in Jesus Christ, no story is beyond redemption.

My prayer has never been that God would erase this chapter.

My prayer has been that He would use it.

To comfort someone.

To encourage someone.

To help someone choose tomorrow.

To help someone feel seen.

To help someone find hope again.

And above all, to point people toward Jesus Christ—the only One who can truly heal a broken heart, restore a weary soul, and give meaning to our suffering.

If even one life finds hope because of what God is doing through this season, then His grace will once again prove greater than our pain.

That is the testimony I want to live.

Not that I survived a trial.

But that Jesus remained faithful through it.

❤️✝️

“Though you have not seen Him, you love Him… and rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory.” — 1 Peter 1:8