Love Day #16: The Anchor Point
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” — 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
THE JOURNEY
I hate the dentist. It’s a primal fear—the sounds, the smells, the vulnerability of lying back in that chair.
Last year, I needed a root canal. I was gripping the armrests so hard my knuckles were white. My heart rate was 120 beats per minute while sitting still. I was convinced something would go wrong. I was convinced it would hurt more than I could handle.
My wife, knowing my phobia, had come with me. She couldn’t do the surgery. She couldn’t take the pain away. She couldn’t stop the drill.
But she pulled a chair right up to the side of the dental chair. She took my hand in hers—firm, warm, and steady.
“Don’t look at the tray,” she whispered. “Don’t look at the light. Look at me.”
I turned my head. I locked eyes with her. She was calm. She was smiling just a little, breathing slowly.
“I’m right here,” she mouthed.
Here is what happened: The drill was still loud. The procedure was still uncomfortable. But the terror evaporated.
Why? Because fear and love cannot occupy the same space in the brain at the same time. As long as I was looking at the drill (the source of fear), I was terrified. But the moment I poured my attention into her eyes (the source of love), the fear was pushed to the margins.
I loved her by trusting her presence more than my panic. She loved me back by being my anchor. Her love didn’t remove the event, but it removed the fear of the event.
Heart of the Matter
The Apostle John gives us a powerful equation: Perfect love drives out fear.
The Greek word for “drives out” is violent—it means to cast out, to expel, like kicking an intruder out of your house.
We often think that the opposite of fear is courage. But the Bible says the opposite of fear is love. Fear is based on the idea that we are unsafe, that we are being punished, or that we are alone. Love is the assurance that we are held, that we are forgiven, and that we are accompanied.
Here is the dynamic: You love God by shifting your focus. When the “drills” of life start whining—the medical report, the layoff, the conflict—you refuse to stare at them. You turn your head. You look at His face. He loves you back by becoming your displacement mechanism. His “Perfect Love” (which is Jesus Himself) walks into the room of your heart and physically pushes the fear out the back door. He reminds you, “I am here. You are not being punished; you are just being worked on. And I am holding your hand.”
Faith in Action
This is a mental exercise to use when anxiety spikes.
The Challenge: When you feel a spike of fear today:
- Acknowledge the drill: “I am afraid of X.”
- Turn your head: Physically turn your head to the right or left.
- Find the Anchor: Look at a specific object (a window, a plant, a picture).
- The Breath Prayer: Inhale and say, “Your love…” Exhale and say, “…drives out my fear.”
Do this ten times. You are retraining your brain to look for Love instead of looking for the threat.
Prayer for the Day
Lord of Peace, I confess that I have been staring at the drill. I have been meditating on my fears until they feel bigger than You. Today, I choose to love You by looking at You. I turn my face away from the ‘what-ifs’ and lock eyes with Your ‘I Am.’ Drive out this fear, Lord. Kick it out of the room. Fill the space it leaves with the heavy, comforting weight of Your perfect love. I am safe with You. Amen.
LOVE Note
“Fear is a liar. It whispers that you are alone. Love shouts that you are His.” — Unknown